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Life 1972 age 13 Life is a game A constant race, You've got to keep up or you'll lose your place. The die is cast before you're born, Your grave is dug, Your casket worn. For every man there is a slot Into which he falls to be forgot. A Thought 1973 age 13 Here's a thought to ponder about, Though probably one you could do without. Let's say 'God' is a mass of minds, Ten multiplied by infinite times. We're not really here according to this, Could you believe that you don't exist? What I'm trying to say is, believe it or not, There is a chance that you're only a thought. Drifter 1973 age 14 On a day that dawned you were here, And like a doe and fawn we seemed so near. But a blink of the eye and I turned around, And empty sky was all that I found. You'd drifted on following your soul, The urge to be gone too strong to control. It lives in the heart of many a man, You'll never part from the drifting demand. So be off and away and travel far free, But return someday, my drifter, to me. A Rock 1973 for Herbert Deep in the jungle the path runs narrow, Winding and twisting, yet straight as an arrow. All along the path the animals call, The wild ones scream! With no sound at all. Life is as definite as all of this, Pure hell, it's true, But also pure bliss. These days a rock is all you can trust. "So Solid!!" you say? But lo! It's mere dust. The Shadow Behind 1973 You walk through life with a shadow behind you, Always seeking, trying to find you. You work, you play, Try to run away, But look behind and The Shadow you'll find. Silent it is for many long years, Until the distance between you it clears. Elusive the voice~ Little your choice, You are the prey You can't get away. You run dow the road but the road runs back! Shadow, now substance, Makes the attack. Take your last breath, Surrender to death. The race is done, Death has won. The Promise 1974 for Tom Rogers My foot steps echo through hospital halls, I want to turn back as each foot falls. Doors slide by, I'm searching for one, At room 12-C My search will be done. The nurse at his door stops me to speak, Saying, "Make it quick, And be careful, he's weak." I entered his room praying him sleeping, The horror of my mission upon me creeping. I gazed at his face through gauze and tape, Memorizing forever every feature and shape. The doctors had said, "Maybe he'll live, If that blessing God chooses to give. But remember, my girl, He won't be the same, Feeble and crippled he will always remain." I had made my promise many years ago, It was too late now to tell him no. If only the doctors knew my promise to him! They'd never have dared Voice a future so dim. Slowly his eyes opened blinking, adjusting to the light, A few moments taken to regain clear sight. Then he looked at me pleading, I knew, For the one thing I wished never to do. But with tears in my eyes I nodded my head, And once again sleeping was the man in the bed. One quick glance showed the room clear, Of all but us two no one was near. Opening his mouth with fingers that shook, I dropped in my promise, All my courage it took. Driving home through streets wet slick, My heart was heavy and my soul felt sick. "Promise me you'll never let me suffer and cry, If I'm aver disabled please help me to die." His existence ceased his words were my own, Now I suffer and cry and feel I'm alone. Then a horn blares loud Lights flash bright! Where am I? Lord! I feel light. There are people here all reaching to me, but among them all only one face I see. I'd kept my promise and felt bereft, I should have know I would never be left. Laughing together we began to run, Hand in hand to touch the sun. We had sworn to love 'till death did us part, But even death couldn't It hadn't the heart. This was written from an actual promise I made to Tom, who is still one of my dearest friends Randy 1974 Long blond hair, bedroom eyes, Innocent looking yes, but just a disguses. Another night spent in jail, Another time put up for bail. Too many times this scene's been flashed, Bummer times, spent in the past. He's 19 now and fresh from the cell, A crab-ridden place, Mexican Hell. Depression exists and makes no sound, as he laughs and jokes and plays around. But through it all he's still the same, (He may have crabs but the jail's to blame!) His kikker boots are, gee, just dandy, But I love him still, This is Randy. I had the best taste in boyfriends... MY KINGDOM 1974 My home is my Kingdom, My mind is my throne, That keeps me from boredom In my Kingdom alone. To Steal 1974 No, not about Randy! The night was black The night was black as a stack of black cats And the crime didn't lack a knack of tact but of course the law saw And did what they could and thought they should To stop the young young hood Who did a job good from committing this crime in the nick of time before he stole even a dime. He was sentenced to jail no bond nor bail left alone to wail his misfortune To cement walls and guarded halls Where nobody balls or gets any ass or smokes any grass and nothing is real Living from meal to meal Paying with youth for the crime To Steal. Today is Yours 1974 for Herbert Today is yours I give it to you, (I know it was God's but my posessions are few.) Trace the pattern of today with your mind Make it your own and chaos you'll find. Because man is nothing but a whispered breeze and all men will know it when they fall to their knees, Praying that the ground will shake no more, and that their hearts won't break, and their souls will soar, Beyond the skies Beyond this earth And through new eyes you'll see it was worth all of the pain it cost to remain alive so long. Yea, this is your poem, your song, your words from me, And this is Life the way I see. The Bitch 1975 Rhoda meets Jim He wakes with a roar and before you're warned, He beats down your door, Yea, shit over warmed. Ask him anything and "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!" is the song he'll sing, like only he can. He'll bitch about life, He'll bitch about death, No cares for other's strife, if he has a bitching breath. "Do me a favor, Jim" Hell, don't waste your time, He'll say "Hell NO!" not maybe, "Your troubles are not mine." Well yea, Mr. Cooper, You've got a mean mouth, But ya ain't got a clean swoop, Cuz ya ain't the worst in the south. Bitch at me Babe, and I'll bitch right back, Soon will come the day When I'm gonna knock you flat. But for now I'm mild Sweet as fresh grass, And until I go wild, Just kiss my ass!! Unbelievable I would go on to marry this guy not once but twice! (No Title) 1975 The valleys are green, lush and deep, where cliffs rise majestically steep and danger lurks at the turn of the stream The nightmare hidden behind every dream. And there grows a flower of beauty untold, A sign of eturnity that never grows old, It's magnificence of a power that can hault your breath and hold you transfixed to your very death. Last Wish 1975 If by some power beyond my mind's reach, I were to lose the gift of speech, And I had one word to say before silence took claim, My only wish is to whisper your name. And if someday like a thief in the night, I was crept upon and robbed of my sight, And I had one minute to see by God's good grace, I'd spend it gazing at your beautiful face. And if one day before my death, I were to learn I'd soon be deaf, If the good Lord gave me a choice, I'd spend my time hearing only your voice. If I were to lose the feel of touch on my skin, I'd thank God I could still touch souls within, But if I had an extra minute of time, I'd spend it feeling your lips on mine. When I die and leave you & your charms, My only wish is to die in your arms. Sun Child 1975 Someone who carries the beauty of the world, Within their soul peacefully curled, Amidst the hate and sorrow today, So rare I could kneel and reverently pray. I'd like to surround them with flowers and sun, A summer's breeze and laughter and fun, To protect their feelings, more sensative than mine, I'm just a sinner, scarred by time. Sometimes I meet someone good to the core, Who makes me want to know more and more, From every angle, every inch of their mind, And I run through my veins the beauty I find. And as a rushing chill touches my skin, I know I have touched the soul within. (No Title) ???? Blood drips, and drips, and drips, and the Devil sits and samples the sip delicately touching the tips of his fingers to his lips. The Musician 1975 He leaves for work early each day, While his guitar cries and wants to play. But he kisses it good bye, and says,"What can I say? I'd love to play but gotta earn my pay." So while his hand hammer and nail and terrible things, In his mind and heart they caress six strings. Their reunion is touching as they tunefully embrace, The guitar sings and never cries in it's favorite place, Resting across his work worn knees, Indeed no lovers Could be quite like these. Yellow Fellow 1975 Listening to a drunk pee Flowing and flowing, Im flowing away, My God! That beer can sure make you pay! I grow weak as I see myself in yellow, Liquidated I'm not a handsome fellow. As the sound of the flow pounds in my ears, Death by drowning is the worst of my fears. I can see the headlines of tomorrow's day, "The poor drunk fool just pissed his life away." Maranatha I wrote this when I was 17, in 1975 As time goes by I find each day That the urge to cry just won't go away. Sometimes I think~ things will get better quick but then my heart will sink and make me feel sick. Tired of living in a timeless daze Where it's no use crying and nothing pays, Until all people gather in a crowd and cry "God send a miracle! Or let us die." As their voices rise to a crescendo peak a hush falls. A gentle voice begins to speak. "My people come to me, and take my hand. and let us flee this terror land. Gaze into my eyes that you know so well, Surrender yourself to my powerful spell. I will give you riches and laughter galore, Is there any one here who has offered you more?" A cheer rises and the crowd gathers at his feet, But again a hush falls; another voice begins to speak. "You who wish to lead these people away! First let them hear what I have to say. For I am the messiah, the only true king, and love and light are the gifts I bring." A murmer of confusion spreads through the crowd, And the first woice speaks and says, "I hope you're proud!Look how you've confused them ~ abusingly so! Why not let them be happy and go?" Look how you've confused them ~ abusingly so! Why not let them be happy and go?" He raises his arms for silence with power, and riches fall about the people in a shower. Jewels in her hand, a woman faces the "king" and in a taunting voice begins to sing, "What have you got to show us, dear sir? Are you responsible for our life as it were? I've starved so much I don't know how to eat, with no place to even rest my tired feet. And here I have luxury, right in my hand, Show me more! If you're 'king' you can." All around her, people are echoing her speach, All the while grabbing all the riches they can reach. And the lord looks up with the power in his eyes, and silence falls as he painfully cries For all the souls to be lost in a moment's time By their own foolish choice to be left behind. "What I have to offer is too great to be seen, unless your mind is clear and your soul is clean. I am the power to which you should turn, All who hear my voice should listen and learn. Belief in me must be based on faith, Measure my every word for depth and weight. With love, my friends, you'd never have wanted, Shadows and darkness would never have taunted. You'd never known misery had you loved one another, You'd never been alone had you shared with your brother. Come to me and I will show you Love, and a life of peace as in Heaven above." and a life of peace as in Heaven above." Half the people rushed him with grateful tears, All carrying their Bibles, not opened for years, While the other half turned him away, Not even caring what he had to say. They could see the riches fallen all around, To them this "love" was only a sound. So, divided, the people followed their choice, No objections left, no doubts to voice. Tired of years of sadness and grief, They walked away with a sigh of relief. A single figure walks down the street, With no one to recognize his scarred hands and feet. No one to hear the trumpets sound, See the eagles fly or the Light rebound. And Jesus cries out! Completely frustrated, "My precious children! If only you'd waited." EAT ME 1975 by Rhoda & Jim Eat me~yea, you're gonna eat me, Even dead, life ain't gonna beat me. Cuz when I die I'm gonna get my rocks being sold in hamburgers at Jack in the Box. And after I've rested on my vulture feather pillow, I want a moseleum built shaped like an armadillo, Well deserved after all life's ass chappings, To hold all of my hamburger wrappings. Smoke me~yea, You're gonna smoke me, 'Though I can't toke you you're gonna toke me! Cuz I want my lungs to be cut up & sold, to be smoked by freaks carefully rolled, So they can get high off of what I've done, So maybe they, too, can touch the sun. This is my testament, Yea, my last will, Which makes me one mother--er You don't wanna kill. Prayer for Death 11/5/75 Tears well up and spill from my eyes, From too many lows and too few highs, Until I find myself with a jolt of surprise, Envying everyone who dies. God, where are you? Are you still there? What makes my life always look so bare? Please don't let me live and cry, If nothing else please let me die. Die Baby Die 1976 for Jim Damn you, damn you, Damn your eyes, Damn all you do from each sunrise. Die, Baby, Die, just die from me, For every lie and wrong you've done me. I've had enough of your blackened soul, of you being rough without control Over your own mind, your body, your heart, More I look more I find, I lost from the start. Damn you, Damn you, Damn your sight, You who damn all I do and say I'm never right. Die, Baby, Die, just die from me, for every lie and wrong you've done me. Take your cold and whoremaster ways, That have quickly grown old from too many days and nights spent damned by you too much, With all you demand within your touch. Damn you, Damn you, Damn your life, In all you do May you always know strife. So die, Baby, Die, Just die from me, For every lie and wrong you've done me. Damn you, damn you, Damn your eyes, Damn all you do from each sunrise. Die, Baby, Die, just die from me, For every lie and wrong you've done me. I've had enough of your blackened soul, of you being rough without control Over your own mind, your body, your heart, More I look more I find, I lost from the start. Damn you, Damn you, Damn your sight, You who damn all I do and say I'm never right. Die, Baby, Die, just die from me, for every lie and wrong you've done me. Take your cold and whoremaster ways, That have quickly grown old from too many days and nights spent damned by you too much, With all you demand within your touch. Damn you, Damn you, Damn your life, In all you do May you always know strife. So die, Baby, Die, Just die from me, For every lie and wrong you've done me. (Clearly near the end of Rhoda and Jim marriage #1...) LAUGH 1977 for Jim Laugh, Baby, Laugh~ Yea, laugh for a while, Laugh in my face, Baby just go wild. Cuz I'll laugh with you (and at you too!) Lover, you don't know but the joke's on you. Laugh 'till you're dizzy, Yea, Laugh 'till you're stoned, 'Till you hear the door slam and you're laughing all alone. Who's in Control? 10/31/77 Sometimes people say that they aren't "being themself", Like what they've done and said Had a little help. Some say there are spirits who enter sometimes, and take control from within our minds. Sometimes I will speak and then look around, Because I spoke without thought and heard only the sound. But I feel no presence of spirits, I'm neither prophet or preacher, When I am not "myself" I am simply my Teacher. Sometimes people say that they aren't "being themself", Like what they've done and said Had a little help. Some say there are spirits who enter sometimes, and take control from within our minds. Sometimes I will speak and then look around, Because I spoke without thought and heard only the sound. But I feel no presence of spirits, I'm neither prophet or preacher, When I am not "myself" I am simply my Teacher. Just a Dream 12/78 I have a dream I dream on nights, Of fog and Snow and Christmas lights, Of life that sparkles like dew at dawn, Full of bursting hearts and a soft sung song. With heart abloom and soul afire, My mind chases dreams climbing higher and higher. But then I crash and blink in light that hurts, Through tears dreams fade and Hope deserts. I stare at plaster walls Lying still and curled, To protect my soul From the cold, cold world. (No title) 12/78 (No title) 12/78 Take the day Stand in the light Learn to pray And close your eyes tight. Rock gently to the rhythym of your soul Never mind Let your insanities flow. Facing death Await the date Hold you breath Until it's too late. Reaching hands Crying eyes No one understands we all live lies. the day Stand in the light Learn to pray And close your eyes tight. Rock gently to the rhythym of your soul Never mind Let your insanities flow. Facing death Await the date Hold you breath Until it's too late. Reaching hands Crying eyes No one understands we all live lies. Don't worry. This makes no sence to me either... God Led Me to You 12/21/77 for Jerry Clouse My heart was broken and in shreds and pieces. My heart was broken and in shreds and pieces. I was bait to forget love and live only for what pleases. I was lead through all kinds of love except what was true, Every time I had to see through it and decide what to do. I've left many people who felt they'd been used, Because I entered their minds and left them confused, When I would back away from what they offered me, Though the reasons for this even I could't see. When it was over I'd realize why it all had to be, It slowly makes true Love easier to see. But now I can say, When I hungered for Love, God fed me. And then when I found you, God led me. Space Case 1978 Last song for Jim The black side comes out in the back slide... 'Though you try to avoid a slip You slowly lose your grip And you slip Tipping backwards in time A trip of some kind where you find Your Freedom. I was a fool should have stayed in school to learn the rules the first time through with you. So cool, so slick, so easy to trick A world sick for love that you're the pick of the flock HA! Smoothe walk Smoothe talk, Words like chalk so easy to erace And then replace without a trace of the place the promise was And face to face you deny the rat race you run behind your face Just a Space Case without a home base. The black side comes out in the back slide... 'Though you try to avoid a slip You slowly lose your grip And you slip Tipping backwards in time A trip of some kind where you find Your Freedom. I was a fool should have stayed in school to learn the rules the first time through with you. So cool, so slick, so easy to trick A world sick for love that you're the pick of the flock HA! Smoothe walk Smoothe talk, Words like chalk so easy to erace And then replace without a trace of the place the promise was And face to face you deny the rat race you run behind your face Just a Space Case without a home base. End of marriage #2 to Jim From the Texas Penitentuary: : Walls and doors all sealed tight, No wind, no rain, no love, no light, What can survive? Surely, all will die, Locked away while life passes by. But~look at the clam! Sealed thight and dark, No light enters, no cheerful remark. Yet hidden inside away from the world Waiting to glisten in light Is a shining pearl. Mamma Come Get Your Baby 1980 Not quite the same w/o the music Mamma was once a shining girl Seeing life as a shining pearl, So happy to be lead dowh the aisle to be wed, A woman at last, With a woman's pain. When Mamma first held her baby child, Little pink bows and an innocent smile, Such joy to behold, But then Mamma didn't know the sorrow to come, Her baby grown wild. "Mamma come get your baby, she's crying all alone!" And with sobs that shook, and broke her heart, Her baby hung up the phone. And Mamma remembers the little girl she dreamed her baby would be, but her dreams are lost in a world to shady For Mamma to see. Little girl playing in the sand Always reaching for Mamma's hand, Has gone away To learn to pray In the devil's land, And her baby cries; "Mamma come get your baby! She's crying all alone" and with sobs that shook, and broke her heart, Her baby hung up the phone. Now Mamma can't help It's in the hands of God. So now she stares through bars that forever leave scars At her baby, Lost lady, And Mamma remembers that tiny hand, And Mamma just can't understand. "Mamma come get your baby, she's crying all alone" Now she stares through bars that forever leave scars, Oh, Baby, She's a lost lady, And Mamma remembers. Friends 06/19/80 for those who stood by me Sing, Baby, Sing! Laugh and dance a while! Today is going to bring another reason for you to smile. With so many things proven untrue, I cherish even more true friends like you. So, hold out your hand and hold up your head, True friends understand and share their daily bread. Days come and go time passes on, But I will be your friend until life itself is gone. Butterflies and Flowers 6/22/80 For my Mother 6/22/80 For my Mother I'd like to send you flowers so their beauty could surround you, With a butterfly to come back and tell me how he found you. Did he see you smile? Did he tell you that I love you? These questions I'd ask, Always thinking of you. But I don't have a butterfly and only a picture of flowers, Yet, if my dreams make you smile, Then I need no other powers. No Title Sep. 2004 1 year after losing Mom Why do I pound the floor and scream my agony? giving the carpet What For and tears to sip for tea. Who am I yelling at? Who do I blame for this feeling? Do I pound the floor flat because I can't reach the ceiling? Honesty's a bitch when the truth looks scarey, Enough to make you twitch cause this could get hairy. But here it goes the old One Two, "God, your Plan blows!" NOW this poem rings true. Suicide 04-29-06 It's a choice to decide for myself when enough is enough, Suicide. I live in pain those I love make it worthwhile So I remain for a little while and hang tough. While suicide rests not as a future sin, just an option within my rights A way to abide the pain I live in. I used to see Hell as the reward for opting out Before I fell struggled to my feet and looked about. I won't be a coward when I take my life I'll be moving forward done with the fight In a body failing with a heart full of love, My actions while alive will or won't get me to Heaven above. Don't pray for my soul when you hear Suicide I just took control of my time and right to die by suicide. MRSA in Your Community 2007
I've never tried so hard to speak
and found myself yet unheard
Look out or you'll die!
You'd think they'd stop at that word
Die. Dead. Deceased. Kaput.
With man's fear of mortality,
he should think something afoot.
Surely someone alive besides me
Feels fear at these words of fatality.
CA MRSA
pronounced like See a pursa,
is a deadly disease with several names
And I'd say it's winning
If we're playing games.
MRSA gets inside of you
from the person next to you
in a drop of sweat or any spot wet
can carry it through to You.
You don't even need a cut
or to have sex or share needles,
the Super Bug is uglier
Than butt reaming beetles.
Awareness, containment,
and death to the BUG,
is the only way to vent
and beat this Thug.
But catch it and fearlessly scream
There'll be no segregation for you,
Cause no one yet seems to care,
Who you spread it to.
I know a woman who has been cleanly scalped,
MRSA ate where hair once grew ~
It was brown the last I knew ~
Terrifying until it started on an ear,
I think that's when she really felt fear.
Most have it in their skin still
Covering their torsos at will,
With boils, bumps and scars,
covering every inch until
It starts on the organs inside,
then it's really downhill
from dying to has died.
My daughter has this,
She is a junkie and poor,
And now she is pregnant,
And we really need more
People to know,
This is HERE, NOW, in our town,
I don't feel safe,
Knowing it's just floating around.
No one is quarantined,
Few are educated at all,
Some still blame spiders,
A germ just seems so very small.
Fact is, the AMA made this
And now turns their backs,
On those most desperately needing aid
from whichever side of the tracks,
Not nearly enough is done
neither offense or defense exists,
Who's targeted? Why! Everyone!
I could tell you stories from sun to sun...
I thought one lady had it made
Because she was lucky enough,
To have Medicaid for meds and stuff
To get admitted for IV antibiotics,
and although a junkie,
they saw her pain
even giving my friend narcotics.
My friend noticed the following
As a regular thing;
The doctors and nurses
Masked up and changed gowns
Yet posted nothing
about MRSA's Presence in our town.
Visitors came and went
With no warning of the risk they took
home with them, maybe to you!
Perhaps she's even your cook.
Her luck went south,
'twas her without the hair now
To you from my mouth,
I think it might be unfair how
Victims like her are treated so.
Without even thinking she is going to go
Everywhere you do
Carrying the MRSA bug
Not meaning to hurt you
'cause she is not the thug.
With MRSA boils
You may rush to the ER And say,
"Hey doc! look here!"
He looks and backs up
then leans in to peer,
Backs up again quickly and says,
"Spider bite! you'll soon be out of here!"
He explains how it will drain,
and writes you a script For Bactrim
or something That leaves you unequipped,
To fight the New Big Bertha,
Plague, Super Bug, Leprosy,
CA MRSA
and maybe then you'll see,
Part of what it's like to be me,
To picture how it feels
To be eaten alive
by a flesh eating germ
Who'll eat the Bactrim and thrive.
There are one or two
correct drugs out there,
But they have to be found quick!
you have to take great care,
not to die, not to let it win,
Before you're too sick
And the disease moves within.
I fear for those who turn their backs,
Unless you find Karma queer
For they could fall fast and hard,
Maybe yet this year!
Until your family is like me
Praying for you with all their might
and you all join in and take up my fight!
because now you have to
with all your might.
Other countries have won
Locked MRSA out tight!
While our was has not begun
or even admitted
We have a war to be won.
Learn what you can
and share what you know
what we understand we command
so help our understanding grow.
And pray for help
sweating, writhing in contortions,
Aren't we reminded of plagues
of Biblical proportions?
Are you afraid? I hope you are,
'cause with you
and the friends I've made so far
Maybe we can get "their" attention
before we're gone too far.
The Netherlands have won
The battle with this Beast
Let's not find
We only did the very least
that we could have
about a tenth of what we should have.
Please forgive us, everyone!
For all the things
we should have already done.
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The History or Story Behind My Site
I wrote my first poem when I was 8 years old and have been in love with the written word ever since. This isn't all of them, many have been lost over the years, including the one I wrote when I was 8. I don't write much poetry now, only when my Muse rises her head and demands it.
Others
My About page is also a great place to give information about others involved with my site's topic, such as the leaders of my organization, club, or company; an ancestor; my family; and so forth.
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